feelings I don't understand

grr I hate days like this I'v been feeling so off lately I don't know what's going on or how I feel I'v been though alot these last 2 months my boyfriend and I just moved back home to my moms after leaving In a Hell hole with some bad people that we were renting from. I feel happy were I'm at now but how do I move on from all this bad shit that still hunts me. I'v been feeling more and more like my old self before life happen and all the abuse started with x's I'm finding that I'm starting to like my old fantasy books and wearing the color white I never wore the color white in fact I never really liked the color now I'm loving it I'm getting more in more in love with wearing whites and other colors were I only liked black. I'v also over come alot of hate that I used to have that is no longer there and I no longer hate my x and other people that used to abuse me or hurt me. I don't care about that any more. I'v also gotten to were I have the I give no fucks about what any one has to say about me I like and wear what I like I no longer have to hid I can do and wear whatever. I also think that its your life and you should be able to love who ever you want and be who you are do what you like fuck what the haters think. I think losing my dad has changed me we used to hate ehother is how I always though but he was blinded buy the bottle on his death bed he said he was sorry for how things were I forgive him cuz holding all that anger in ripped me apart I went 3 years without talking to him cuz of how he was and my x that told me I could not see him cuz he was mean to me but I did not see that he kept me away and abused me I did not see that till it was to late to turn back. My life has been a crazy I'm starting feel this is my second chance to get things right. I'm trying to get back into drawing I'm now try'n to draw people not the best at that lol. I'v gotten back into books again I love the Nightrunner books I read them all the time. My boyfriend and I really relate to them. I just hope this last move is it for some time. I just want to get my head straight I just want to be ok and not feel pain and hurt. Will and I cut out all the people that bring us down I can't take negative people in my life I'm done with all that my dad is gone and all the people that ever hurt me is gone all I have lift here is the ones that love me. Its so hard some times I'm not use to that I'm thankful to have them. I hope things get better from here